There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just want nice things and good sex
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
