neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
