Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just high enough for therapy.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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