I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
we're so committed to being not committed
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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