everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I party with great urgency now.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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