ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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