$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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