The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
When are your genitals available?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
