Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
