i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
