Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
