Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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