morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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