I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
