How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
