Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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