not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
