All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Im part way to drunk.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
