We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
