My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
