He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
