Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
