did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
