I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
