you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
