Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
