i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
