I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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