the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
