Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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