My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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