Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
