i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
