Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
