Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
