..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
