But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
