idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my being single is dangerous.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
