he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
