he thought i was a dude.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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