It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
