Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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