I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
