i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
