I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
