I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
