Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
