The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
