Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
