you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Watching her eat just hurts me
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
