I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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