What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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