I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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